Test

I know you, like everyone else, will break my heart someday.

It’s alright, not like that’s new.

That entire conversation is the epitome of the 10 months of bullshitting around.

four days wide awake
why slide along and say it
girl’s afraid, girl will change
just move away

four days that i will mention in a song
move along, get ahead
get her hand and bring her with you.

four ways to remove all the bad that we do
from the heart and the soul of the city sad and cold
four ways to collect to what we say and what we save
to discard and discover a brand new day.

I need to remind myself that small hiccups are not the end of the world.

What I do has consequences.. it was just a matter of time before somebody’s feelings get hurt and I don’t want to be the one.

So I’m leaving that life behind.

One entire freaking year. I feel so jaded and tired.

I used to have the most fucked up perspectives on a lot of my decisions and the justifications I put behind it. But slowly, you learn that there are so many things in life that are bigger and more worthy.

I don’t want to be that mess I used to be. I don’t want that mess I used to see.

I love my monotonous drama-free life that only has 3 guys and 3 awesome friends.

And it’s so much better watching a scandal than being part of it. =)

Every minute of my life I spend it worrying and fretting over who and what I am going to become, and small everyday things occupy my time to the point I have stopped doing things for The Big Picture.

So what’s gonna happen to me in a year’s time? What kind of person will I become, if I never start the foundation now?

Better make my sacrifice worth it.

One day, it will be, right?

but drenched in vanilla twilight,
i’ll sit on the front porch all night,
waist-deep in thought because
when i think of you i don’t feel so alone