don’t dictate me.

14Jul09

Why do people like to tell me how I feel or who I am? For the longest time I keep hearing the most ridiculous things about me that OTHER PEOPLE thought. Like the classic (and severely repeated) case of “yarn, I think you’re a lesbian”.

yeeeeeaahh, I AM SURE I AM WHAT YOU THINK I AM. If you think I am a lesbian.. I MUST BE ONE! Good grief.

Then there is the “I think you like me”.

“I think you are this.”
“I think you are that.”

Fucking presumptuous. Why don’t people just ask if I am what they think I am, instead of putting it as a statement? And if I say no, BEAT IT.

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14Jul09

It’s not like we’re built to last.

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compromise schompromise.

13Jul09

So many shiteous people I’ve seen in my life that I’ve set the expectations to such a minimal it’s almost lacking in self-respect. I keep letting people get away with shit/treating me like shit, whatever the hell happened to “never settle for second best”?

I’m done being nice. I’m not compromising anymore.

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I AM A BACHANG IN PAIN.

13Jul09

Today is not a good day. I was planning to get to work late because I wanted to visit the doctor, but when I was at the doctor’s I got a call from the office so I had to rush there, and I didn’t want to say that I was at the doctor’s so I lied and said I am on my way (technically I was on my way I just stopped for a prescription) and I absolutely hate lying. But thank god I was the only one at the clinic and I thought I can rush this through, but FOR SOME REASON the nurse took forever to call me into the room. So I gave up waiting and left, only to realise D already left and I felt bad for making her wait for me.

And I was gonna come back tomorrow and I realised I can’t because I got a morning meeting.

And I forgot to bring my blazer to work. My office is INSANELY cold and I am wearing sleeveless. FML!

And my dress is making me look like a bachang. How the hell did I gain so much weight?!

And I am aching all over from the 1.5hrs workout on Saturday and I can’t walk a step without cringing in pain, and because it hurts so much to move properly I fell on the steps just now, and now I have angry red marks ON TOP OF THE GIANT BLUEBLACK I GOT ON THURSDAY. FML FML FML. WHERE IS MY PARACETAMOL WHEN I NEED IT. I AM IN PAIN.

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kitchen dictator

12Jul09

Had a party over at my place last night because the rents are outta town, but they surprise-camehome this morning and there goes my plans of having another party. Heh.

But yay my mom is cooking dinner now. Annoying as she can be sometimes, but damn, that woman rules the kitchen.

I’m considering my culinary school dream again. =(

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insomnia

11Jul09

We’re an overhyped overglorified version of utter crap and labeling does absolutely nothing.

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09Jul09

We’re insanely alike it’s such a pity we hate each other.

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more weird dreams.

08Jul09

I dreamt that I was at Japan and J came over, and we were with a bunch of people and we tried to look for somewhere to have dinner, but she said she’ll go back to her hotel instead. She said her hotel’s at Ikebukuro, and she can drop me off at Takadanobaba because she’s cabbing. Then I told her she should eat at the Cocohouse because their curry is awesome, and we went to the Cocohouse near the Waseda dorm and and she got really annoyed cos we had to walk really far because the cabbie dropped us at the other end, and the cab fare cost her $500SGD (WTF HAHAHA). Then I couldn’t order because the guy at the Cocohouse doesn’t speak english, and J got even more pissed. Then I felt bad because I was the one who asked her to go Japan and she was just pissed.

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“i hold it all when i hold you!”

08Jul09

when memories fade, we’ve got each other
when time and confusion collide,
singing, “i hold it all when i hold you”

it’s not about the money we make,
it’s about the passions that we ache for,
what makes your heart beat faster,
tell me now what does your body long after

Anberlin – time and confusion

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going out on a limb

06Jul09

I know my rules are a little out of this world, and the plans always seem to fall flat because I think differently. Maybe it’s the way I’ve been brought up, maybe it’s the different influences. Maybe it’s just my personality. But I have my own set of weird rules and regulations and I do things my own way, and maybe that’s why things don’t work out that well.

But I wouldn’t want it any other way, failing or not.

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